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It has crap, pukestories and bad scene-jokes.
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Lennu on the run!
Lennu is a dominant, big and showing piece of Finnish scene-history as being a man with whom one better not to mess with. Lennu is a real old-time pirate with certain white-power figures, and not liking blacks or actually anyone else than whites. While modern pirate-fellows try to be cool, Lennu has been cool from very beginning of whole scene and still trades monthly more warez than wanna-be traders on their whole career. Lennu has had his hands in certain forgeries, robberies and frauds, never getting caught.And then our Lennu-story:He's also pretty seeming figure in parties. In The Party 2 Lennu was thrown to jail (only one in whole party) for acting kinda violently against organizers. Then he stole a car from police station to get back to party, and later complained loudly against polices taking away his TNT-explosives. Lennu eluded Finnish army for years, and finally had to go to army after getting caught from beating couple people. He was there under 1 hour before getting free-to-go -pass. In Assembly'95 Lennu was in bad mood, and wanted to destroy something - so he asked someone is his computer was a Pentium - and threw it to wall. Cops came, and Lennu was thrown to jail charged of vandalism and violent refusing of police officers in work. :-) Also organizers told Lennu that they'll call police if they see Lennu inside party-area.
In some Byterapers-parties Lennu was very efficient attendant, as he was promised he can drink all booze he takes away from people. He worked REALLY well!
Lennu, also known as DDT/Accession, is one helluwa cool and dominant figure in Finnish scene. :-)
Lennu!
Okay mates on friday i was coming home from restaurant (as usual) when bus reached to my bus stop i dropped off and headed to my home ..well that wasn't so easy because few fagets were following me (think you are thinking why?) well i'll tell ya why...i had finnish alcohol shops plastic bag with me with full of booze and those fagets tried to get my booze..well as you know i don't like guys who tries to get my christmas boozes...well after a while those guys get closer to me and ask if i would give them few bottles of beer...well like everybody knows me i didn't give them nothing else than a big blaahh,go home boys..well iu think they didn' like my answer and they tried to get my bag. well i took my bag and get one beer bottle from there, and hitted other guy in head..that guy was bocked out.then the nother guy tried to hit me with his beer bottle,,,and shit he managed to do that also well beer bottle crashed to my head and broke down..after that i got really mad and i started to hitting that asshole... after a while of hitting him he knocked out to ..and quess what..police arrived there at same time...i hate these finnish phone lines..! well then polices started to ask me what has happened two guys are lying on the ground and i am drinking beer like nothing has happened. well i think you quessed right! Police took me into car and started to drive me to station. well after i arrived to police station . they ofcourse checked am i rewarded or not . And they found only 7 rewards of me fiiuuhh! after that they throwed me into jail and i was kept there over 20 hours.i think you want to know why i was rewarded..well let me tell you....
1: 2 pahoinpitelya manneja vastaan
2: 4 very bad over speeding. drived 150km/h at ok50 km/h speed limit drived 130km/h at 80 km/h speed limit etc..and the worst thing was that army was looking for me so i was a war criminal...well any way everything can happen to me as you can see.. see you later!!!!
* Scandinavian News crap-factory *
Selected pieces of unbelievable crap, masterful showpieces how Scandinavian News -magazine always managed to see the wierd side of the Scene, mock the disabled and make jokes of both stupid and normal things in life.
Source: Scandinavian News 1/1989HOFFI!--------------------------------------
*** HOW TO CRUNCH A SUUUUUPERDEMO! ***
--------------------------------------
If you have a Program written, you want to crunch it, because everybody says that Crunching is cool. First you have to know what crunching is: Crunching crunches a File! With this knowledge, let's write a Cruncher! First we gotta have a file. Let's try crunching our beloved A M I G A BASIC. Therefore we enter a File Editor (NOT a S.N.Editor) and examine the file. First we gotta delete All Wasted Zeros. What are wasted Zeros? If the Hexdump looks like this: $00c2, then 2 Zeros are OBVIOUSLY wasted. Therefore we just write '$c2-yes and what now? Like this way: 00c23049 becomes after crunching c2349. In this way you can delete all the Zeros in your Basic. After this it should be only half as long as before.. COOOL Cruncher, EH?! way :00c23049 becomes after crunching c2349. In this way you can delete all the Zeros in your Basic. After this it should be only half as long as before.. COOOL Cruncher, EH?!
To Be Continued...
Source: Scandinavian News 1/1989
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FAST COURSE TO FINNISH-LANGUAGE
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Finnish language, that hard language, which those tough Finns talks, is very hard to learn. This is meant to be fast course for party-boys who have got lost in Finland..Do not fix in your mind SAAMI, and Finnish, becoz only KOLTTAs talk SAAMI, and HELSINKI-city (?) is not as north, as where we find some KOLTTAs..
Let's start!
First, you have to understand that there is such a characters like 'ae and oe' (Did anyone understood??) It isn't sensible talk but I didn't invent Finnish..!!
Well, only things party-boys have to know are words!!
Some ones:
FINNISH - English
ALKO = Some alcohol available
AMIGAMAN = Amigaman
AUTOMAATTINENTIETOJENKAESITTELIJAE = Computer
ILOTYTTOE = If money, then fuckey
JUNTTI = Lamer
JUTSKU = Chosen folk of God
K-KAUPPA = Foodshop
KOSKENKORVA = Koske's ear
KYRPAE = Penis
MAGNEETTINENTIETOTALLENNE = Disk
MANNE = Free to kill
MILIISI = kts. Moskova
MOSKOVA = Suur-Suomi dream
ONNIKKA = Bus
PERSE = Arse
POLIISI = Cop
PONTIKKA = Traditional drink
SAAMELAINEN = Saami talker
SOSIAALITOIMISTO = Some free money
T-KAUPPA = Foodshop
TEOLLISUUSSTANDARDINMUKAINENTIETOKONE = PC (PieCe of shit)
ENTISETMIEHET = X-menWell, if you can't communicate with Finns after that, then you are a fucking loserlameridiotjunttimoron and we recommend not to come to Finland, 'coz you are not able to survive...
crap text (Amiihkalimannen/Whizzikatti)
Also, Sachs-Dolmar is the very chainsaw Grendel uses, therefore buy a Husqvarna!!!
Source: Scandinavian News 2/1989 #8
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JOIKU-NURKKAUS
CORNER OF LAPPISH SONGS
=======================
Print this text,and sing it with your friends, when you're having copyparty in Finnish style!This corner is for artsy people. In the next SN there'll be East-African traditional songs.
Burro Matti
===========Ajdda ko vuödda ko ajdda ko vuöddako ajdda ko nuude ko vuödda ko lulluko lulluko lulluko lulluko luu lullukolulu lulluko adjda ko nuude ko vuödda ko loo loi lo ko loiloko lulluko lulluko lullu kolulluko luu. Loi loko loilokoloilokol oilokoloovuöddakoajddakovuöddakolulluko etc..
Saamekieliolahyvvenkivvakielli.
(AMIGAMAN - the great reindeer-)
Lots of spare women to swap with you. Only the HOTtest stuff wanted!!!
Contact:
E.T.
Phone Home !!!Ps.
Also Some Women's Underwear to swap.
Ages from 13 to 57.
No Male, nor Transvestites!
Also lots of dogs wanted !!!Have a nice day !!!
- - - -
NECKBREAKER of STICK sends very much Hellos to SAXA of EX-MEN! I hope your herpes is gone and we can enjoy real analsex again !!! I'm not lame !!!
- - - -
It's NECKBREAKER again, Hey all masturbators in Tampere, come into my place so we can masturbate together!!! OWN HANDS TO COMPLETE HAPPINESS!!!
Could anybody send me some money becoz' I broke my neck again. As we say, Break a neck. So long. See you in our next demo, coming soon!.
- - - -
A Game Problem:
I have a Spectrum 48K and my friend has an Atari ST. I have borrowed some games from him but they don't work. Why? Tell me, I'm desperate to play all those good looking games. Or is there something wrong in my computer? Yes, and I have another problem, too. Can you tell me how I can load from ST 3.5"s with my cassette recorder. I have tried about every possible way.Using Amiga:Seeker of knowledge>
Dear Seeker of knowledge,
We know your problem very well, since we have a similar compatibility problem between Vic-20 and Amiga. We are simply dying to be able to play all those great Vic-Games like Jupiter Lander with our Amiga. We have something that you could try. The main problem is that a cassette recorder has two spinning knobs where a disc has only one hole. So you need an electrical high-speed drill and a 10mm blade. Then make a hole carefully and presto, it works (at least did when we tested it)! !EDITORS
I have had a Commodore Amiga for two months now. I have done everything the way the hand book says but I still can not play any games I have bought. The red light on top of the com' is alight and everything else seems to be all right. Could you help me, please. I have had to lie to my parents that I'm having a good time.- - - -Andreas from Sweden
Dear Andreas from Sweden;
We strongly recommend you to get a monitor or a TV-modulator.
!EDITORS
So if you have problem what is impossible to solve without professional aid, just turn on us and we'll help you in every possible way. Our motto is: If we can't help you, there's nothing to do!!!
!EDITORS
Kaapeli, nyt kutsuu mua Kuusamo!
Wicked ja Scy, potku munille!!
Phalanx on Suomen nummer yksi
AXA- - - -
!!!.Contact Hypercocks Inc.!!!
For latest women sockware. This offer is only for the melting cool guys like the great the only the almighty the... Archfarter L E D N E R G/SREPARETYB CNI
Call our special hotline 358-77-21362 and ask for Akkuj or just follow your NOSE!!! (You can't miss the polar place)
- - - -
TWS sends special SWAPSWAPS to Gryzor of X-men and Waterhead (Hackman) of Deathstar. MSG to Gryzor: Stop "Hanning" and try to get some serious "stuff"
- - - -
An Amigalord hijacked a streetcar in Helsinki and demanded the driver to drive to Cuba...Special hello to Teuvo of Defjam Finland, the ex-member of Red Sector. Lots of thanks for the 9 calls same day during our May Day-drinking party.- -
What does an Amigalord do first after a shower?
- Takes off his clothes, of course!
- -
An Amigalord hijacked a submarine. His ransom demand was $1000'000 and a parachute.
- -
Why do Amigalords have heads?
- Well,it'd be difficult to hold the hat in hand all the time.
- -
An Amigalord was in New York and crossed the street when red was burning. It was the rush time and a cop saw him. The cop shouted: "What the hell do you think you are doing? Did you come here to die?" The Amigalord answered: "No, I came here yesterday!"
- -
How many Amigalords are needed for a kidnapping?
- Six. One does the kidnapping and five write the ransom letter.
A member of Amigalords was arrested for molestation.
- The guy hurt my feelings!,he claimed.
- What did he say?, asked interrogator.
- He called me feminine.Then I hit him.
- With what?
- My purse...
TWS + Servant&Lanttu/(B) + Grendel
Now follows a beautiful story about HOFFI! The great BBS man, unbelievable coder, king of wareztraders and booze-beautyking.
Viesti nro 4824, alue "Private" (Privaatti)
Päivö : 05.03.92 13:13
Lähettäjä : Antti Miettinen
Saaja : Jukka Kauppinen
Aihe : Arvaa nauroinko !!!To: WICO/INC Refer#: NONE
From: ABYSS Read: NO
Subj: USA GETS BUSTED Status: PUBLIC MESSAGE
Conf: EINTL-GAMES (9) Read Type: GENERAL (A) (+)-> Yeh i know!! Thoose finns i have seen in Action have been really
-> Barbaric!! Do you know Hoffi & sum other dudes from the bloodsuckers
-> team?!? They are really BARBARIC!!! On a Party here in Swedene i
-> and sum
-> friends went out to party with em' When they saw a girl they
-> rushed to her and sad "DO YA WANNA FUCK?!?" And pulling down
-> there pants and showing there Stuff to every girl they could
-> find.... At the end one of them even tried to get a 13th years
-> little kiddie with him up on the room to fuck!!!!