Good morning, Jim.

Our intelligence has located at least eight HiRMU!-cultists among an innocent-looking computer-nerd club called "Byterapers, Inc.". Here's some more detailed information about them:


This is Mr. Sex. We believe his covername in HiRMU to be "Herra Yhdynta". He is very competent in creating foul-smelling pool of ooze from his lower abdomen.


This we belive is Hazard of Byterapers. In the seances of HiRMU he goes by the name of HCGoottiMaagi. His speciality is a very dangerous one; his tales are so poor that everyone within 30 yard radius begin to feel thirst and dizziness. Earplugs recommended when dealing with.


This picture was corrupted somehow; our agents say that although it was nighttime, the picture should show more than his face. Anyway, this is Grendel, the almighty leader of Byterapers and a long-time journalist for MikroBitti-magazine. Very few actually know that he's also known as Invisible Killer Fighter in HiRMU. He's the ultimate power in telling stories that never end.


Again, our agents fucked up; their zoomer was on "Turbo" and this is the result. This is supposedly Sivu, known in HiRMU as Wodets Wodets Heti Kansliaan Wodets Wodets His main asset is a strange philosophy which can effectively twist your world. Also he often recites strange lyrics of utter nonsense, taken from various sources of uncleanliness. Earplugs recommended.


Gentleman pictured here is Birra, his HiRMUname is Waste. If your team includes any female agents advise them to be extremely cautious when dealing with Birra. His charm and sex appeal are superior to that of a dead whale, but that doesn't stop him from desperately trying to seduce all females within his sight.


Our agents were unable to get a picture of T.o.B. He was supposed to perform in a band, but he never showed up. Intelligence found out that he'd been doing a bit of boozing and couldn't play. Of his HiRMUname we have no idea, and information of his powers are also a bit fuzzy; we know that he can make humppapoppia and play bass. Anyway, be cautious.


Our photoshop was unable to come up with a lens large enough to capture the true magnitude of Micron, so we sent out a street-artist, who came up with this. Anyway, Micron is easy to recognize from his, shall we say, large, figure. Other HiRMU-members call him "Olvi Special". His primary weapon is his body, which he uses to stand/sit/skinny-stomp (eucch... :) on people. We recommend cautious approach and a hajurako.


This here is Lanttu. As far as we know, in HiRMU he wants to be called as The Huge Human Element That Splits A Woman With Two Liquid Filled Crystal Balls. We have observed him for some time now, and think his secret power to be passing out on you.


The most magnificient HiRMUer is of course Jate. Why? Because he is one of the three founders of whole organization. In the dark corners of Jyväskylä, in the red glory of Vakiopaine, in shrouded meetings of the Aivokirurgit, he is secretly addressed as HiRMU VALTiAS.

Your team's mission is to find these idiotic fart-knockers and ask... ermm... if we could join. Remember, Jim, if any of your team members should be uncovered, we'll toast to that and later say we don't know anything about fishing. Good luck, Jim!

This page will self-destruct in about 10 years...

(... ten years later...)



(this is the grand HiRMU itself. Photographed by Lanttu in one drunken morning)