Where we have drunk? How much we have drunk? How much is left in our wallets?This page includes unrelated booze stories from (B) and other tales that are hard to put into some specific location.
WE DONT KNOW!
Byterapers Distilling Facility. Actual self cooked Bytebooze by Hazard & Reznor of (B).
These are true stories about Mr.Sex.
Suckho, Mr.Sex and others came to (B) Sivu 20 Years birthday party by car , driving some 80 kilometers. By unfortunate accident, they came with Suckho's father's new car. Big shiny Volvo or something. Even worse was that they placed Mr.Sex in middle seat at back. They had to stop couple times to let Mr.Sex puke, and sometimes they weren't fast enough. Result was that someone's coat was very badly covered with puke AND the back (leather!) seat was covered with fresh, stinking vomit. Uargh. Mr.Sex had even puked all over Gurdan's trousers and it was like glue, impossible to wash off.
The most excellent thing was that when they were parking their vomit filled car, some 100 meters from the party location, guys heard Mr.Sex saying somewhere from the shoe level "let's now go to Iisalmi" - but they WERE there already! He didn't even know it!
Mr.Sex's puke on Gurdan was amazing efficient.x It didn't let go. Scratch scratch - still dried puke on the coat. And THIS puke happened when guys had already arrived to Iisalmi. You can only wonder on Mr.Sex's stomach. How can he live eating glue? THIS puke didn't even wash out! After a run in washing machine the puked area had even changed colour from green to white! A forever puke! couldn't be In this same trip Mr.Se Someone also commented occasion when Mr.Sex puked on someone's coat - and the puke never washed out. Or well, they GOT the puke off - but the puked area had changed colour in washing machine!
On another occasion Mr.Sex showed his amazing puking skills by doing what no man has ever done: vertical puking! He was lying on floor on his back - and puked like a fountain! Burp! Burps! Rhuelps! Röyh! Puke flowed up like geysir only to drop back on his face - and now refilled Mr.Sex let go again!
Dr. Dick and Mr. Sex were boozing out in the big city. Dr. Dick leaves earlier, and Sexus follows him by Taxi. When Sex arrives he sees a taxi standing in front of their block house, feverishly cleaning the back seat from puke. Well, it's easy to guess that Dr. Dick has arrived.
When Sex get in he finds quite a sight: the toilet was completely messed up. Whole WC is full of puke - puke here, puke there, puke EVERYWHERE. The toilet seat and its surroundings were also wasted with urine and puke, there was puke even in the walls. Not forgetting blood. Dr. Dick's entrance must surely have been quite a shot.
Another tale related to their peaceful co-existence in their student's apartment was an occasion when the poor 3rd guy living in same place couldn't get any sleep during the whole night. Dick and Sex were on booze-craze and were drinking and listening techno with real loud volume all the time. When morning came up, the guy was very tired, very angry and went to scream to them. What did he find? Well, the guys had nicely passed out actually quite early in the previous night and the CD player had just been playing replaying the one CD during whole night. He totally enjoyed his finding. That guy finally moved out of the apartment.
- Dr. Dick is sometimes IRC-addicted, but so are many other persons. At one time there started happening nick collisions with someone else, and finally both got fed up and started discussion which one should change his IRC nickname. Well, the other guy yelled to Dick that "I've had this nick for months so it's you who got to change it."
The fun point was that Dr. Dick had had HIS nick for some 7 years, so he didn't chance it. This happened some time after Erotic's (band) song "Help me Dr. Dick" topped charts everywhere.
- Tohtori Tikkasen Lapsenhoitovinkkejä
(the original subject was too cool to change - translated something like Dr. Tikkanen's children care tips).
When Dr. Dick was at his home, in the countryside, he was forced to watch over some neighbour's kids. Everyone else went somewhere else, and Dick was the only adult person. The kids were very restless and kept on running and didn't obey at all. Finally Dick took the most active, worst kid by his neck, dragged him up into air and STUCK HIM INTO WALL! There he was, hanging from his coat's neck in the wall!
Many Byterapers members are true specialists in something. We have here listed some of their special talents:
Mr. Sex - pukes often, pukes everywhere, pukes a lot.
Lanttu - when he drinks, he truly is DRUNK. He either is sober, or totally megalomanically drunk with no control, no clue and later no memories.
Enema - fartmachine. Amazing anus control, unbelievable long and artictis farts and horrible smell.
Lasse - magnet. Woman magnet.
Birra - expert in seducing women.
- Proton and a friend of his once had 100 bottles of beer in the trunk of car. They felt like fucking and they saw 2 females sitting on a bench. He went to them and asked them to come along. They (naturally) said no, but Proton said "C'mon, surely U want to see 100 bottles of beer in the trunk of a Fiat Uno...?". The chicks came along and after they saw the load of beer they said "Well, maybe we could come along and help you drink all these..."
*Epilogue: Both got laid, and the friend was 4 months with his chick.
- Lasse ja Tero Mononen/(B) Files Fame once had a compo about who picked up older woman in bar.
Lasse was a looser, his pick was just a 23 years old chick. But Tero was a man.
Lady told him she was 39 years, but in morning Tero was checking her wallet and found from the ID she was really 45. Afterwards Tero was a bit Hazied, "she was older than my MUM" style. A proud winner, anyway. Lasse had to give up the title "I've had oldest chick".
- Lasse and Tero Mononen/(B) Files Fame were going to see some Lasse's pal. He wasn't home, and they started seeking for a sleeping place. Well, all doors in basement were empty and they had to stay in rappukäytävä vittu mitä fuck tämä on englanniksi. There was a warm lovely heater and they used it to warm themselves, sleeping on the floor. Tero was next to the heater and Lasse very nicely pressed on him. Then Lasse woke, and heard voices "they're sleeping under the stairs". Lasse made Tero to wake up, both stood and combed hair and walked out, saying "hello good morning" to those two people who were wondering them.